"We want to live in tribes... [people] are looking to be told what group they belong to. And once they do that, that want to know "What are the rules" (123).
"What are the rules?"
The Amish Charter essay was a good example of group members following the rules. The Amish members devoted their lives to live by the rules listed in the charter. The members did not care if there was any cost to being a part of this group but followed the rules unswervingly. "Regardless of any possible cost to themselves, the members are required to put into practice what is required by duty, honor, personal loyalty, and religious calling. The fundamental values and common ends of the group, recognized by the people and accepted by them, have been designated as the charter" (140 The Amish Charter). If a person does not like what the community values, then they will not join the community. The members must believe and agree with everything that the community stands for. You have to follow the rules to actually belong and be a part of a community. The Amish community had strict rules and it takes commitment to be a part of a community like the Amish community. Members must immerse themselves into the community to be a part of the community and take part in the functions of the community. If one does not follow the rules or act like other members in a community then they probably do not really belong in that community.
"[People] are looking to be told what group they belong to.
In the essay Making the Grade, the author does not like how he is labeled just for being African American and having good grades. This essay contradicts that Bereby said in the previous quote. People don't want to be told where they belong, they want to decide for themselves where they belong. People don't want others to make their decisions for them. Friends are not chosen for you, you choose your own friends. People choose the communities which they want to be a part of, people are not told to be a part of a community. The short essay was a contradiction to this statement. "One of the most dominant stereotypes I see in my generation is the idea that when black students show interest in academics, they're acting white" (259 Making the Grade). From my experience, certain personalities hate being told what to do. People are more likely to rebel than to give in and be a part of what they are told to do. If a person is labeled as something that they don’t want to be, then they will try to change that label by acting in an opposite way.
"We want to live in tribes"
People want to be a part of a group. Most people don't want to be alone their whole lives. The need to fit in is a part of every person. The yearning to fit in is common, especially among young girls. The Secret Society of the Starving is an essay that exemplified the desire to fit in. The girls in this essay starved themselves so that they would feel beautiful and have confidence in their own bodies. "Women with eating disorders really thrive in a lot of ways on being very disconnected. At the same time of course, they have a yearning to be connected. Perfectionism, attention to detail, and a sense of superiority combine to make the pro-ana sites the most meticulous and clinically fluent self representations of a mental disorder you could hope to find, almost checklists of diagnostic criteria expressed in poignantly human terms" (152 A Secret Society of the Starving). These girls formed their own tribes that fit themselves. All of the girls had a similarity. All of the women had something in common. The pro-ana group was formed because the members wanted to talk to and be with people who are like themsleves. In my experiences, people who have a lot in common tend to find friends in each other. It is easier to communicate with somebody who is like you, and this is why the pro-ana members value the connection they share.
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